World cup munchies

I have been following the World Cup closely, and must confess to a dark secret. Hoping against hope, and being dashed at every step, I still am an England fan. I’m not a Rooney fan, but I still hold a very dim candle for England

Their performance at this World Cup was not exactly stellar, but it also wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. Yes, Rooney looked his usual sulky self and seemed that he was always on the verge of a temper tantrum but there were a number of bright spots. That cannot be said of the regular defense. That looked completely out of its league in the first two games, although the replacement players that were used in the last game, especially the goaltender looked much sharper. I can’t in all fairness say they were robbed of a place in the last 16, but their overall performance deserved better than two losses and a draw

But that isn’t the reason for this article, I just needed to get it off my chest.

What I want to talk about is the sex rules that are in place at the world cup. Yes, teams actually define nooky rules for their players that run the gamut from no sex during the tournament, to no sex the night before a game or the one that I love, no acrobatic sex. I would have thought that would have lead to very cranky players and a much higher incidence of bad tempered fouls. Which brings me to the game between Italy and Uruguay, otherwise known as the Hunger Game.

During the game, Louis Suarez seemed to take a bite out of one of the Italian players. Apparently this isn’t the first time that he has had the munchies mid game, and one has to wonder if the Uruguay Sex Rules have anything to do with it. Is it possible that Louis was driven mad by no nookie? Could it be that cannibalism is a side effect of not getting any?

I better stop before my imagination runs away with me.

It was a pretty despicable act, and needs to be addressed by FIFA with a ban on Suarez for the remainder of this Cup. That way he can sit in the stands and eat hotdogs rather than opposition players.

 

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